When I was 15

I had to take a long, hot shower this morning because the seasons are beginning to change and here in Chicago that means the temperature has dropped significantly and rapidly. With that, I was cold when I woke up so I had to steam it out. Whilst doing so, I had some time to think and reflect back on my adolescence. With my 30th birthday coming up in just a little over a week, I realized that when I was 15, that was half of my life ago, up to this point. It's a rather daunting thought, but helped me put things into perspective.

When I was 15 I was a sophomore in high school and I was still getting acclimated to being surrounded by an entirely new group of people and making friends. I was living in a St. Louis suburb called Oakville and even that situation was awkward as I was a part of a blended family and still trying to find my way in a new neighborhood with kids a few years younger than me. Luckily, I found my solace in getting a job at Frankie G's Grill and Bar. Yes, I had a job right after I turned 15 - I was a go-getter! Actually, being a younger kid among my classmen, I knew I had to save up some money in order to buy a car in time for my 16th birthday. For the first year of my employment I had to fetch rides from dishwashers and fellow busboys who really thought they were cool.

Anyway, so that job was pretty much a life changer, as I've mentioned before in the past. Aside from high school, college, and family, just about every single person I've become friends with since my first day at Frankie G's has been a result of either working there with them, or an encounter initiated by someone who works there. I've been the Best Man in 3 weddings - all a result of relationships made at that bar. I had 6.5 good years at that place, and it all started half my life ago, and that is amazing and I am so thankful for every single relationship made - good, bad, or indifferent...

15 was also about the age when I really learned about drinking beer, and consequently grew an affinity for it (okay, maybe not right away but definitely laying the foundation). Spending your formative years in a bar can do that to you, I guess - oh, the exposure!! In case you were wondering, I still like beer... maybe a little too much sometimes. But now that I am approaching 30, I can definitely feel that I don't party like I used to (when I was older than 15, by the way).

1996 was a good year... learning how to drive a car, and making that transition from a bicycle and all the other things I learned that year have helped shape me into the awesome person that I am today. A lot has changed since then... actually, everything has changed and life is good.

Happy early birthday to me. After I pat myself on the back, I might just go celebrate!

Greetings

I have been really busy lately and a bit under-inspired so I haven't been able to post in several weeks. In fact, when I signed in I was afraid this blog was going to be taken down due to inactivity, but such was not the case and here we are.

Something happened to me this morning whilst walking Jake - and this happens pretty often. Someone that walked past me greeted me with a "morning" (yes, some people in Chicago do actually acknowledge one another - but to her credit, she was a neighbor and somewhat familiar). Anyway, it got me wondering when we as a society started saying "morning" and dropped the "good" in front of it. Call me old fashioned, but I like a full "good morning" when being addressed but even I catch myself slipping up and just saying morning in response to the same greeting. I think we need to get our lazy asses back to the full "good morning" because in my book any pleasantry worth doing is worth doing right.

And while we're on the subject - I have another one. I can remember as far back to high school or maybe even 8th great when people started saying "What's up?" as a greeting. I know what you're thinking - what's wrong with that? It's courteous and shows you care... wrong! The truth is, it's just another pleasantry and when someone "asks" you this they don't actually want to hear about what is "up" - they just want you to say "not much" and go on about your business - some people even get a chuckle out of responding with "hard dicks and airplanes", but that's one of those time-and-place things. And then of course - as lazy a society as we have become - we've found a way to even shorten this little phrase down to "sup?". Okay, that's not even really a question... hell, it's not even a real word (I know these things as I am an avid Scrabble player)!! Again, I can admit to having fallen victim to this usage in the past. In passing I suppose it's just another way to say "hi" without feeling as fruity as you do actually saying "hi".

Another one that is a question to which no one really expects an answer (rhetorical, if you will) is "how's it goin" - and no that's not a typo, it's pronounced "goin" so I spelled it phonetically. If you ever hear some one greet you with a "How's it goin", don't give a real answer. Just politely say "not bad" (or if you prefer, "comme si, comme ca" - everything sounds more pleasant in French).

So that's my thought on some of our common USA greetings. Feel free to add your own. Maybe my next blog will be about why I just used USA instead of "American"...

M.ajor L.eague B.ullshit

So the MLB is finally talking about realignment because apparently they just realized how stupid it is to have 6 teams in the NL Central, whilst having a mere 4 teams in the AL West. Except they have the formula all wrong! If you don't believe me, read here:

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Best-realignment-possibility-Astros-and-Rangers?urn=mlb-wp9320

They are WAY over-complicating this. I have been talking about an easier way to fix this for years! You may have heard me wax poetic about how I would realign the leagues and my intentions to share this thought with Bud Selig and Major League Baseball. Well, I have been sleeping on the idea as of late but now that they are discussing it, I suppose I should get my idea out there ASAP before Bud ruins the future of my favorite sport.

If you haven't heard my solution, its quite simple. Move the Colorado Rockies from the NL West to the AL West. Then move the Houston Astros from the NL Central to the NL West, to replace the hole left by the Rockies' departure. This switcheroo would make the divisions equal at 5 teams apiece, aligning them as thus:

AL East: Yankees, Red Sox, Orioles, Rays, Blue Jays
AL Central: White Sox, Royals, Indians, Twins, Tigers
AL West: Angels, Athletics, Rangers, Mariners, and ROCKIES
NL East: Mets, Phillies, Braves, Marlins, Nationals
NL Central: Cardinals, Cubs, Reds, Brewers, Pirates
NL West: Dodgers, Padres, Giants, Diamonsbacks, and ASTROS

Boom! Done! On the surface it appears that the simpler move would be to put the Astros from the NL Central into the AL West and walk away from it. I'm not a huge fan of this realignment because then it outs the Astros and Rangers in the same division and I just think they're too close. It's not like there aren't other geographically close division rivals in the rest of the league, but this one would just bother me for some reason (perhaps as a Cardinals fan I'm in no hurry to see the Astros leave the NL?) and I think the AL West could use the Rockies. The only thing this alignment doesn't fix is the Pirates being in the NL Central instead of one of the other Eastern divisions, but I can only fix one thing at a time... and that one isn't that bad.

Other things that need to be fixed in the off-season along with realignment: remove the DH from the AL (and thus, interleague play), salary caps, video replay on calls at 1st base, among other things. Maybe I can include these items in my letter to the league...

Oprah for President

With all these funny people coming out lately in support of Donald Trump's short-trumpeted run at the Republic presidential nomination (in which he's slowly losing steam after the long-form Obama birth records were published, and as his arguments get stupider and less coherent, and as no real Republican talking heads are supporting it), I decided I would begin a campaign to write-in Oprah Winfrey as the Democratic nominee to run in 2016 after President Obama finishes his 2nd term.

I think Oprah would make a great president and represents a great juxtaposition against the sideshow that is Donald Trump's lunacy. Let's compare the two. Both are TV personalities, filthy rich, and reside in large cities. That's probably - for all I know - where the similarities end. Oprah is a black woman, who may or may not be homosexual - but has never been married and doesn't have any biological children. She also has lots of confirmed friends who are also black - some female, some gay, some both, some all 3. She is a (former) actress who hosts a TV show where she exposes, shares, educates, helps, and gives away lots of free shit - regardless of who you are. She doesn't need to know you, but if you come to see her show, she just might reward you with something, even if you're already rich or unfortunately not. If that wasn't enough on which to judge her drive and perseverance, she has parlayed her successful show into an equally thriving production company amid other dynamic business and personal ventures - those results don't lie.

Donald Trump is a white, male, trust-fund baby. He has been married and divorced numerous times - exhibiting a pattern of reckless behavior that also includes public on-air tirades against well-known homosexual female TV personality Rosie O'Donnell, among other public, on-air tirades of various sorts. Trump, like Oprah, has a TV show - the big difference is that Trump's is a reality game show in which the grand prize is one (kinda) job for one normal person. He also has celebrities appear on his game show, albeit the prize is ultimately given to charity but rest assured there is a marketable, profitable motive for doing these TV shows where - outside of the charitable contributions - they wholly affect (or help) no one. he has also been roasted by Comedy Central, which is the highest honor which can be bestowed upon a media-whore clown such as Trump.

I always hear how great a business man Trump is - quite the contrary. He inherited a large sum of his early wealth from his father and invested it into real estate in an already bustling city that had been a real estate giant long before he came around - he in essence did not create anything! Also, his business ventures have not always been lucrative. It is highly publicized that some of his hotels and casinos were mismanaged and fell into bankruptcy - which in turn almost bankrupted Trump personally. A guy with that lack of real business savvy is not the right answer for a country already struggling with economic development and sustainability. Plus he donates a great deal of money to largely Democratic causes which contradicts a platform he's running on of purely Republican issues - you know: tax cuts for the rich, opposing gay marriage, and starting wars over oil - top American priorities .

He has also become a master of deception in seemingly hiding his male pattern baldness for an immeasurable number of years underneath a very convincing hairpiece. The irony here is that he recently joined the so-called "birther" movement in accusing President Obama of also using deceit to fool the American people into thinking he was born in the US (see the analogy) - when everyone knows (including hardcore Republican pundit Ann Coulter) that the President and his administration has proven his birth location and thus legal eligibility to be President many of times over. For the record, did you know John McCain was not born inside the US - but in US territory in Panama - and was allowed to run for President? I wonder if that would have spiraled into this same witch hunt had HE been elected - probably not since it's not an issue of race and the Dems aren't bigoted by definition.

So, if Oprah were to run in 2016 you could check her birth records, but her track record speaks for itself. She built an empire out of nothing and continues to use her success to promote the common good. It's no secret that I want Barack Obama to finish an 8-year term as president, with a NEW Congress in 2012 and through 2014 to clean up the mess of the 2010 midterm election and have the opportunity to finish what he started. However, if and when given the chance, I would certainly like to see what kind of campaign Oprah could run and if promising (which I'm sure it would be), she would easily secure my vote against almost any contender.

Pass the torch!

Thoughts from Opening Day...

... Cardinals Opening Day, that is.

Extra Innings?!?! Are you kidding me!?!? Too soon!

Ryan Franklin probably should have retired like he claimed last year he was going to do.

Maybin hurt us badly, but at least he hurt himself a little too and might miss the rest of the series.

ESPN should not be blacking out the first half of Cardinal games in Chicago due to interfering with "local" programming - this is Cubs/Sox territory, morons! Had I not seen as much baseball as I did, I would have been more upset.

Theriot and Berkman look good in Cardinal uniforms. I can't believe I ever despised those guys! I remembered why as soon as Theriot booted a toss-in from RF, allowing a run. At least he turned a DP.

Colby Rasmus is one UGLY SOB - almost as ugly as the bullpen. But good to see him leg out a triple!

No, seriously - the bullpen is awful.

Pujols was a non-factor (actually he was flat out bad) - going 0-for-5, leaving 5 runners on base and hitting into 3 DPs (which he's never done before in his career). His warning track power looked worthy of a $30mil contract extension. 161 more games...

Holliday made me sad, then made me very happy. I fear it's going to be that type of summer.

Carp looked sharp. Great command and only 2 ER, with 4 Ks - and an unfortunate ND.

Is that Scott Rolen at 3rd?!?!

Once again, lame-ass Cardinal fans did not disappoint with the infamous curtain call. There is no more annoying piece of baseball nostalgia. When something good happens, cheer for a few seconds and then sit back down and shut up. When something spectacular happens, maybe give a standing ovation.... but think hard about it first.

Shake this one off. Go Cards!

Erin Go Bragh-less

Yes, I know, it's been awhile since I've posted an update on here. I apologize - the crummy weather has had me in a bit of a funk and I didn't have much great material to write about. I will admit I passed on a few opportunities recently, but now that the weather is turning and it feels like Spring is finally here, I've gained the desire to share another story.

Yesterday was Thursday, St. Patrick's Day 2011 - it also coincided with the (real) opening day of the men's NCAABB tournament. Both of these are banner days in my world, as I enjoy them both very much. I was planning on sitting around all day watching basketball and was going to meet up with some friends from StL to watch the Mizzou game. As it turned out, those friends didn't make it up and so I was going to be left alone. Then my friend Krissy came to my rescue and invited me out to watch Irish dancing, eat corned beef, and throw back a few Guinnesses. I happily obliged and that's how the day got started at Abbey Pub - around 2pm for me. We ate lunch and shot the breeze for awhile and tried to catch the ends of a few of the bigger games going on at the bar - all this on the one giant TV screen they had at the bar with no stools... this really isn't your neighborhood sports bar.

Up next on the docket was Chief O'Neills for a few more of those dark stouts! I learned that this mini-crawl has been going on for a few years with this particular group, so they knew that if we arrived there before 4pm, we'd get in before the 10$ cover kicked into effect. It always pays to roll with the experienced. This was such a fun time because we actually got to sit on the patio OUTSIDE and drink our beer!!! I've been longing for the day I could do this again for several months and it felt so great to actually be hanging outside with friends, having a beer on a patio! Actually, this thing is more like a giant beer garden because it's about 5000sf and they even had half of it tented. As it got darker into the evening we moved the party indoors to listen to some of the great live Irish music (complete with a bagpipe segment) and the same Irish dancing team we saw earlier at the Abbey.

It was overall a great night. The size of the group kept growing throughout the day and sister-and-brother-in-law - Jaimbo and Danny - came up to hang out as well. I wish my wife could have been there to celebrate, but she is the adult in the relationship and it was her night to work late, unfortunately. Maybe next year (St. Patty's is on a Saturday in 2012 due to leap year)!

Some of the highlights:

*A broken bra-strap incident (ergo the title of this post) and me having to provide the safety pins to fix it that I luckily had in my car! Identities are not being revealed in an effort to protect the innocent...

*Some random 5-year-old boy thinking Bridget was his mommy not once, but twice! Did you ever let him get his face painted??

*The restaurant manager frantically trying to remove a stone statue so that the kids running around wouldn't break it - and then ironically dropping it on the ground as if scripted for a sitcom.

*Tons of drunk parents

*Using a Johnny-on-the-spot without fear that someone was going to hurl their body into the door (see facebook profile pic).

*And finding a new "Words with Friends" opponent!

Just for fun, here is one of my favorite Irish toasts: May the roof above us never fall in and the friends below it never fall out.

I hope everyone else had a Happy and safe St. Patrick's Day! Here's to hoping I have a new tradition... Cheers!

Winter Blues

Dear, weather diary-

Day 20: I'm feeling buried inside the apartment once again. More snow is falling as I type this... if you read it in time, come rescue me! We had a good week last week, weather wise. Temperatures were in the 60s and the large snow drifts we had piled on the sidewalks melted down to dirty puddles and for the most part drained away. Then over the weekend temperatures started dropping and rain started falling. Again, the rain was good in aiding the melting of the snow, but the dropping temps were only a sign of what I was to wake up to this morning.

Large snow flakes are coming down and accumulating on the ground, grass, roofs, and cars. Probably about 1/4 inch at this point - but snowing steadily. I expect probably another inch or so before it's all over - all before nightfall. I'm stuck inside because I have no desire to go back out and deal with this weather again, after we were seemingly over it last week. Should have known it was too good to be true, but it feels like two winters!

Not to mention this is the 2nd snowiest February on record for the City of Chicago - this is in large part due to the 21" we received in the Blizzard of 2011 at the beginning of the month. I think I heard on the news that we were only about 2 more inches away from being THE snowiest February ever recorded in Chicago - so I hope I'm right about only another inch - I don't want to be a part of that statistic, because 2nd place is fine with me! I'll tell you what, I'm pretty damn ready for March to get here! 4 more weeks and we will be in "spring". I know 4 weeks is a ways away and the weather can change dramatically by then, but we've done that dance this year and it's looking ominous for when it's not going to be nasty outside - making me feel dreary. I feel like reading Edgar Allen Poe poems because this weather has me in such a funk.

Baseball season and softball season start in about a month. That is the light at the end of the tunnel for me. We are supposed to have temperatures in the low 40s by the end of this week, so hopefully this snow doesn't stick around long (no pun intended... well, maybe kind of intended). We all know how ridiculous people get when snow is covering the earth - driving like assholes, not picking up dog shit, sticking furniture out in the street to reserve non-private parking spaces. Yep, I'm over it all and ready for Spring.

To be concluded.

Blizzaster!

Unless you live under a rock or in the tropics, desert, etc - you're familiar with the awful winter weather we've experienced across the entire Midwest over the course of the past week or so. For my Chicago people, we have been buried under 20" of snow for almost a week now. If you want to know how my parking situation is, I wouldn't know because I have tried not to move my car since the first flakes began to fall last Tuesday. I did have to venture out for one short trip (one to two hours) each day Thursday-Saturday, but I was able to recapture my shoveled out parking space each time without any altercations with my neighbors. If you're wondering what I'm talking about or curious about how my neighbors are handling the parking conundrum, please look back to last year's blog archives and read my post about the topic.... or visit the Chair-Free-Chicago website. This should paint the picture. These people are idiots. If you're one of these people, I'm not sorry for saying that and may god have mercy on your soul.... and pick your shit up out of the street! Anyway, we should have a better, more productive week, although I feel like this snow is going to be sitting around for awhile, getting dirty, so we'll have to deal with puddles, snowdrifts, short dog walks, and "street furniture" for probably another month... ugh.

For my St. Louis friends and family, seems like you've been dealing with a different kind of weather torture... ICE! Having lived in St. Louis for the majority of my life, I get it.... it sucks. Truth be told, I'm glad we don't get that crap and I'm happy to deal with mostly snow - it should be noted that our blizzard of 2011 was the 3rd worst storm in recorded history in Chicago. Back to the ice. You guys got hammered with sheets of ice and not much snow, after preparing for the blizzard conditions that we experienced. Then I heard when a dusting of snow was being forecast, you got several inches. If it wasn't for facebook, I probably wouldn't know any of this... Thank you, facebook. A lot of what I was reading on there seemed like a little bit of freaking out and preparing for the worst - then astonishing disappointment when there was no snow. This seems kind of weird to me, but I can remember hearing similar freak-out moments when I lived there (not by me of course), so I guess it's just the nature of the beast. I suppose being right in the middle of two climate systems and experiencing a mixture of their respective effects can do that to a region of people.

Back to the snow. I don't think I have to tell you how much Jake loves playing in the snow. He enjoys running and jumping in it, smearing it on his face, and digging to try to find the grass underneath. He's just lucky he doesn't have to drive or get to work in it! I guess while I'm working at home and not having too many meetings out of the "office", I get to reap the benefits of that "luxury" as well. So I suppose until this stuff clears and business gets back to bustling and hustling, I'll just continue to sit here in my shamrock pajama pants and tell you all about my week...

A Hairy Situation

So with the recent Bears loss I decided to shave off my beastly man-beard I had going on for about the last 3 weeks. Don't get me wrong, this was no ZZ Top beard, but for me it was a lot of facial hair. For evidence, look no further than some recently tagged facebook photos of me. Anyway, on Monday I took the beard trimmer to it and brought it down to a 5 o'clock shadow length. I did not do the full shave-gel-and-razor job because I just don't want to be that exposed in the winter after having just been so burly for a few weeks of really cold weather. I haven't shaved since and don't plan to open up the shave gel can or unsheathe the razor for a few more weeks, but I also don't plan to get as grizzly as I was before the trim. I'll just keep weed-whacking it until the wind chill jumps above single-digit numbers.

Also, since I was in such a hair-shortening mood, I decided to get a haircut... a short one. I usually let me hair grow out to a few inches long until it is just too much to style. I don't have much of a hairstyle anyway, but once it hits that yield point, I can just never get it to look right. My hairline is full of cowlicks and it also tends to get curly at the ends the longer it gets. Those two factors contribute to a really hideous looking head of hair when I let it go for over a month after my last haircut. This past time - before buckling under the aggravation - I tried maybe to do a new thing where I style it to one side with a part and make the front do this swoop back thing. It looked good for a day and then I couldn't recreate that look. I got the idea from seeing Ryan Gosling on the Jimmy Kimmel Show - it worked for him, but I couldn't get that look to repeat more than once. So I went back under the scissors.

Usually when I get a haircut I get it cut pretty short so I don't have to get another haircut for awhile... because I hate my hair when its freshly cut (it never looks right for a few days) and I can't stand paying for it. And let's get one thing straight... I'm not a salon guy. I was when I was in high school because it was important then and I had a job and no bills so I had an abundance of expendable income. Now I don't live like that anymore so I opt for the "SportClips" or "Great Clips" do. Say what you will about the talent level of the stylists at those places, but it generally works out fine for me, so I don't need to hear about it. Plus I don't care that match so don't want to pay more than 20 bucks!

The biggest problem I have when getting my hair "did" is that I sort of panic when I get in the chair and have no idea how to communicate what I want done. I know what I want the outcome to be, so I usually just give them some mumbled description and let them do their thing. My go-to combo is the "finger width" trim on top with a specified number of clipper guard depth on the sides and back - between a #2 and #4. Sometimes I'll let them go with the clippers on top, like in the summer when I'm looking for a very close cut. I also like the ear and necklines cleaned up. Most of the time this works out and in the following days and weeks I'm able to apply enough product to make it passable as a hairstyle. That is until the aforementioned point-of-no-return length, of course.

This past Monday my cut turned out decently. Unfortunately she forgot to give enough care around my cowlicks and receding hairline and left the front there a little longer, so I had to do a few finishing touches in the mirror when I got home... no biggie though. The cut was 16 bucks including tip and she kept me there for about 8 minutes, so I was relatively satisfied. I was also able to "style" it this morning to be presentable enough to walk out of the house without a hat on. My expectations are low, so I'm easy to please in that department. At least until a month from now when I'm struggling with the style some morning and cursing the fact that it's time to bite the bullet and go back into the chair.

And that concludes my hair chronicles for the moment.

Decade in Review

In reflection of the new year, I have given some thought to my life over the past ten years. There have been a great deal of accomplishments, milestones, and victories along my personal timeline. Here is a very broadened snapshot of a small majority of those things:

2001 - Transferred to Washington University en route to a degree in Architecture. Started working in my first Architecture firm.

2002 - Bought the Skipfiniti! Got my orthodontic braces removed. Turned 21.

2003 - My nephew and first godson was born... ON MY BIRTHDAY!!! - Nathan Robert... Love you, buddy! Quit working at Frankie Gs... yes, this actually makes the list (I started there in 1996 at age 15, and it changed my life forever).

2004 - Met the love of my life and future wife - Kristen. Changed Architecture jobs. Best Man for the first time - Weltig wedding.

2005 - Graduated college with a Bachelor's Degree - Summa Cum Laude (with highest honors) and was the Student Marshall for the School of Architecture at commencement. Moved out on my own - Kristen moved in with me.

2006 - Bought my first home in a burgeoning housing market... a decision I would later regret. Kristen came along, again. Cardinals won the World Series - not personal, but important nonetheless.

2007 - Got engaged to my aforementioned future wife. My niece and second godson were both born - Isabella Marie (on Kirsten's b-day) and Ryan Christopher, respectively. Love you guys! Got my face plastered inside a magazine... with an actual article dedicated to my work and receiving an award.

2008 - Got married... preparation for this consumed nearly the entire year. Went to Mexico on our honeymoon, marking the first time I'd ever left the country. Lame, I know. Vegas bachelor party = not lame.

2009 - Moved to Chicago - first time I ever lived away from my hometown (St. Louis), including college. Started my own architecture practice in Chicago - cj architects. Best Man for the second time - Hahn wedding (sharing duties will Billy).

2010 - Best Man for the third time - Bauer wedding. Vegas again. Finally sold my condo in St. Louis, thus releasing me from a huge financial burden and allowing me and my wife to progress our lives together...

2011 - ???

P.S. A LOT of other very important stuff happened in the past decade, but these are the highlights...