Given the gift of humility

Yesterday was Kristen's and my niece's birthday (29 and 2, respectively) .  I had some alone time this past weekend so I decided to go shopping for a present for Kristen.  She is not really all that difficult of a person to shop for, but I hate shopping so much that any person (including myself) is difficult to shop for.   And trust me, I was literally shopping...  I had some ideas of what she wanted (because I pressured her enough into telling me) so I at least knew where to go.  

Her sister and I both asked her what she'd like and she simultaneously sent us a list - a nice, concise list.  On that list were four things:  Chicago Cubs shirt and/or hat, DryFit running jacket, and earrings that wouldn't make her ears swell up like two strawberries - she called these "hypoallergenic".  Okay, easy peasy lemon squeezy... she's been talking about wanting a versatile pair of earrings that she can wear daily with anything and for any occasion.  Since there's no way in HELL I'd buy her Cubs gear, I thought I'd be a stud husband and go buy her a pair of earrings... so I headed to my least favorite place on the planet - the mall.  I should note that I didn't always hate the mall - Weltig and Justin and I used to go there all the time when we were teenagers.... fucking dorks!

Usually when I go to the Galleria it's with Kristen and she tortures me into going and then after about 5 minutes when I lose patience and start to get antsy in my pantsy, she lets us leave.  Any other time I have to go there I know exactly what I need and where to find it, so its a quick trip and doesn't bother me too badly.  This last time sucked though because I had to shop for a pair of earrings.  I walked very swiftly past a few of the jewelry stores because the sales are so high-pressure there and I get too flustered.  So then I got cold feet about the whole thing and called her sister to see what, if anything, she was going to buy off of "the list".  She said I would be good with getting either the earrings or the jacket, which was now my new backup plan should this whole adventure turn sour and I need to abort the mission.  

I walk into Macy's because I feel they may have what I'm looking for and the salespeople aren't as tenacious (that means "pushy", Jimi..haha).  So I walk around the jewelry counter and actually see several pairs of earrings that I like and I know Kris would like.  Luckily the one and only sales lady was helping another customer so I had time to collect my thoughts before she approached me.  When she came over, I had but one question for her:  "Do you have any earrings that are hypoallergenic?"  Well, she had but one answer for me, and it was at that moment that I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when the women and the boutique clothing store were rude to her.  She said, "No, all of our jewelry is 18k gold.... you can go look over there at the 'fashion jewelry' and the package will say something like, 'stainless steel' or 'hypoallergenic'."  "Great!" I thought as I walked away, thanking the lady for her time.  It wasn't until I got over there that I realized I had just learned a new term:  "fashion jewelry" which is retail speak for "cheap jewelry".   It was the kind of jewelry that hangs on those carousels with little plastic packaging and isn't even inside a case!!!  I looked for all of about 2 minutes at this crap before I left the mall with my tail between my legs.

I B-lined for Sports Authority and bought her the DryFit jacket.  I am a horrible gift-giver and probably a worse husband (sorry, dear) but the humiliation I suffered should be enough reparation.  :)

Happy Birthday, Kristen and Bella.  Love, Chris.