In the Land of Make Believe

I know who my remaining two-person audience is (thank you for your patronage), and they both have 2 children, so I will cater to their reading needs here.

My only nephew and first godson lost a tooth this week... pretty exciting stuff. He is 6 years old and this is his first of many lost teeth. I can remember I was in 8th grade when I lost my last baby tooth, so that probably explains why I had such a jacked up grill, pre-braces. I hope that doesn't happen to my little buddies, but I suppose that Nathan is off to a good start.

It's an exciting time in a little fellas life and maybe a shot-in-the-arm to the parents who realize their spawn are growing up right before their very eyes... but, hey, that's what they do. As fun as it is to have a visit from the tooth fairy who for some ungodly reason leaves money under your pillow in exchange for your steadily-decaying tooth, I just hope it is not an equally traumatizing experience. Maybe a child's brain doesn't process all of the details when they're so excited for that payday, but my 28-year-old brain wonders, "hey, how did this thing get into my house? how did it get under my pillow without me noticing? why does it want my stinky old, bloody tooth?" Have you ever looked at a baby tooth that has fallen out? It's weird looking - no root system, a giant cavernous underside... kind of freaky, really. But let's not jump off topic here. I think I just have to shut down the logical half of my brain and let the kids enjoy the prize... I just hope I don't ruin the fun when I have kids of my own someday.

Speaking of ruining the fun... what is the appropriate age and time of year to break the news to junior that there is no Santa Claus. This time of year is so full of cheer and spirit and I honestly do love that. I love how kids get excited for the jolly old fat man to deliver each and every one of them presents on the same night. I'm not so fond of the tradition of putting kids on the laps of creepy old regular men who pose as Santa for photographs - we may have to eschew that pastime?? Anyway, the same thoughts run through my head that I think escape those of the little babes - "how did this guy get into my house when I don't have a chimney? how does he deliver all these toys in one night? how did his elves make and assemble an Xbox360 when they sell them right at Best Buy down the street?" Again, the excitement and the lack of formal education hinder this line of questioning from entering a child's mind. But you have to understand that they will figure it out one day and ask the questions. So... when do you tell them? When they're 8,9, 10 years old? Do you wait for them to ask? Do you let a classmate or (as was my case) an older sibling tell them and then when they come crying to you say, "Oh yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that."

I suppose the proper time to break the news is at the same time you tell them that the Easter Bunny and tooth fairy aren't real... might as well get all of the disappointment over at once. So here's my proposal: plan on telling them after that last baby tooth comes out. By then, they'll probably already have heard from someone else and save you the agony. If not, there you go. If this time falls right before Christmas, I pity you.

Luckily my little nephew lost his first, not his last, right before Christmas, so the little copper-topped guy is in for a very exciting (and profitable) week, I imagine.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.